Discipline

Discipline and routine are not my strengths. I should be learning from Mo, for whom they are uber-strengths (perhaps to a fault). But apparently I'm not.

I like living freely, from moment to moment.

The problem is that I do better with greater structure around me. Yet I can't seem to bring myself to create it.

Hence, I haven't been maintaining a regular exercise routine. I promised myself that I would throughout the pregnancy, since well, for one, it's just sensible in life in general. But I also hear so much about how pilates and yoga help you in labor, staying fit helps you lose the weight afterward and promotes a more fit baby (and the smaller baby I'm pushing out, the better!), etc. So I know it's good for me, and I know I feel good when I do it, but here I am, sitting on the couch.

It doesn't help that I've recently allowed myself to get addicted to watching 'The Office' on Watch Instantly on Netflix. This is definitely NOT helping my discipline. (Though one could argue that I'm extremely disciplined in watching endless episodes...) I was in avoidance of the fact that it's my escape from my own office hell, but Mo finally called me on it. Which really only has given me further fuel that I need to watch in order to make it through the next 75 days. (Yes, I actually counted the number of days left to endure. It will actually be less than that, since I'll be taking days off for Christmas and a vacation. Hooray! Though I have to say that it seems like a large number at this point. I know, I know -- it will go quickly. Blah, blah, blah.)

It's not to say that I've been doing nothing. Because I have. But it's been rather haphazard.

I can't say that my eating habits have been exactly exemplary either. But again, not horrible.

There's just so much I could be doing to create systems, routines, discipline for myself. I'd love to incorporate regular meditation as well, for my own well-being to help with my crazy brain, and again to help ease the labor process.

But again, haphazard application thus far.

Breathe, patience. As always, trying to do too much at once. It just feels like more pressure now that I know that I'm supposed to be eating, exercising, feeling relaxed, etc. for an additional person! So then I already feel like a horrible mom for maintaining my regular lack of routines. But then, I think, I won't be able to sit myself down on the couch and watch episode after episode of 'The Office' in 5.5 months, so shouldn't I be able to now??



Yes, I think I should. But I guess it doesn't have to be one or the other.