For example, I'm sure Blueberry is happy when Mo & I are home together, because we have such a loving relationship with each other. We do a lot of cuddling and laughing together, which I'm sure is good for Blueberry.
However, I like to pretend that any of the stress I've been going through is not getting through the placenta. But it's madness to believe that one gets through and the other doesn't. I don't think that the placenta has a positivity filter on it! (Wouldn't that be nice?!)
I'm especially concerned now, as Blueberry is getting closer to full-term, right when my work is in full-on explosive, epic crisis mode. I can't help but be stressed and frustrated with the level of ineptitude, 'not-my-problem'-ness, and general vacuum of leadership that is occurring. I like to believe that since at least I'm not that much of a stress case all around in my life, that stress is being mitigated by the loving happiness that is the rest of my life.Because I have a lot to be grateful for. Like I already mentioned, there's Mo, and we have a great relationship. We're good at laughing our way through challenges, even as we're facing them head-on and seriously working our way through them. We just have a lot of fun together and genuinely enjoy each other's company. Which is nice. You know, since he's here every day and all.
And I have wonderfully supportive parents. And a fabulous array of friends who are amazing in a fabulous array of ways. And we have this new spacious apartment. And now a 4-door car -- a Prius, even! And I have good health, have had a pretty easy pregnancy. And we're taking cool childbirth classes. And, despite the madness at work, I work with some great people and have learned so much through my exposure to the stories of resilience of the survivors I get to work with. The list goes on and on ...
So I hope that balances out my current work fury and Blueberry knows, at some level, that this will be gone and out of my life by the time s/he arrives in the outer world, and that it's in general going to be a happy place to be.
yep...while I really do think it's got an effect, it's not likely the end and all. still, just to be safe, you really gotta get outta there, sistah.
ReplyDeleteone more note (catching up on the blog!) - I am pretty sure we had Betsey too. Ice like labour? HAAAAAAA. HAAAAA. HAAAAA.
p.s. has she gotten to 'orgasmic birth' yet?
Wait. Are you referring to the childbirth class? Where did you take it?
ReplyDeleteThink of it this way - if insane rage-outs (or just wild swings) due to hormones are a natural part of the process, then stress outs can probably be taken in stride. I used to be concerned but since I once had to restrain myself from physically attacking The Hub because he forgot leftovers at a restaurant (thanks 2nd trimester!) I had to be realistic about Baby Girl's likelihood of homicidal tendencies.
ReplyDeletePlus, when my doc tried to move Baby Girl's head down (she didn't go for it) her heartbeat was completely steady and chilled out while mine was all over the map 'cause that s**t hurt! Made me feel a lot better to hear "proof" of her unconcernedness. Why should both of us be upset?
Love the perspective, Seraphina! Glad to hear The Hub has come out alive. I hear Baby Girl will be joining the world very shortly -- hope all goes well!
ReplyDelete