Here we are, with five weeks (give or take) to go. It's so crazy!! How'd we get to this point?!
In the beginning, it felt like it was really dragging out ... like I was waiting for each milestone. And begging my belly to appear.
Well, it still took a while to appear, but here we are, almost at the end suddenly. Ever since we hit 20 weeks or so, it's been a whirlwind. Which I suppose has something to do with the fact that our life has been a whirlwind since the beginning of November. It's really only now that it's starting to feel less so.
So it's funny to me now, when we're feeling so close to the end, that everyone I tell that I'm 35 weeks pregnant is totally shocked at how 'small' I am, still. And how I still get this 'how dare you call me small' reaction, when of course I've spent a good deal of my life *wishing* someone would call me small! Ah, life's cruel ironies. The blessing of having a body that spreads weight out evenly feels like a curse somehow in pregnancy. (Okay, maybe not a curse -- maybe just an inconvenience -- or a robbing of something owed to me -- or something like that.)
Because then what happens is that while I hear all these other people complaining about how people come up and randomly touch their bellies in pregnancy, I, who kind of likes attention, feel jealous -- or like there's something wrong with me -- because no one randomly approaches me about being pregnant. It's like they still think I'm just fat or something.
Of course, the plus side is that I've had a pretty smooth, dare I say easy, pregnancy so far. Never got sick. Haven't really gotten sore yet. I mean, yes, if I stay on one side too long at night in bed, my hip starts to ache, but I just flip to the other side and I'm fine. I don't have this massive nest of pillows I hear others talking about. I do have some troubles sleeping, but nothing major, and really it seems to be more work drama related. No sore back. A little bit of swollen hands, but not my feet (yet). So then I start to feel guilty, like I shouldn't be telling people this, because I'm supposed to be complaining now about how achy I am and how difficult this is.
But it's not. For me.
And then it goes into thinking that it means that the last month is going to suddenly kick my a**. Or that it means that the labor is going to be excruciating. Or that Blueberry isn't going to breastfeed. Or something more dooms-day-oriented.
But I don't really believe that. I don't have the fears that 'my body can't do this'. Because women for thousands of years have given birth! So why would I suddenly be the one who couldn't?! Especially with this strong Scandinavian body??
So then I just figure, well, count your blessings, Missie, because this is one area where you've got it easy. Be grateful and enjoy it. Even if it means that you don't have the most obvious belly and get all the pregnancy attention. You can't have it all!
In the beginning, it felt like it was really dragging out ... like I was waiting for each milestone. And begging my belly to appear.
Well, it still took a while to appear, but here we are, almost at the end suddenly. Ever since we hit 20 weeks or so, it's been a whirlwind. Which I suppose has something to do with the fact that our life has been a whirlwind since the beginning of November. It's really only now that it's starting to feel less so.
So it's funny to me now, when we're feeling so close to the end, that everyone I tell that I'm 35 weeks pregnant is totally shocked at how 'small' I am, still. And how I still get this 'how dare you call me small' reaction, when of course I've spent a good deal of my life *wishing* someone would call me small! Ah, life's cruel ironies. The blessing of having a body that spreads weight out evenly feels like a curse somehow in pregnancy. (Okay, maybe not a curse -- maybe just an inconvenience -- or a robbing of something owed to me -- or something like that.) Because then what happens is that while I hear all these other people complaining about how people come up and randomly touch their bellies in pregnancy, I, who kind of likes attention, feel jealous -- or like there's something wrong with me -- because no one randomly approaches me about being pregnant. It's like they still think I'm just fat or something.
Of course, the plus side is that I've had a pretty smooth, dare I say easy, pregnancy so far. Never got sick. Haven't really gotten sore yet. I mean, yes, if I stay on one side too long at night in bed, my hip starts to ache, but I just flip to the other side and I'm fine. I don't have this massive nest of pillows I hear others talking about. I do have some troubles sleeping, but nothing major, and really it seems to be more work drama related. No sore back. A little bit of swollen hands, but not my feet (yet). So then I start to feel guilty, like I shouldn't be telling people this, because I'm supposed to be complaining now about how achy I am and how difficult this is.
But it's not. For me.
And then it goes into thinking that it means that the last month is going to suddenly kick my a**. Or that it means that the labor is going to be excruciating. Or that Blueberry isn't going to breastfeed. Or something more dooms-day-oriented.
But I don't really believe that. I don't have the fears that 'my body can't do this'. Because women for thousands of years have given birth! So why would I suddenly be the one who couldn't?! Especially with this strong Scandinavian body??
So then I just figure, well, count your blessings, Missie, because this is one area where you've got it easy. Be grateful and enjoy it. Even if it means that you don't have the most obvious belly and get all the pregnancy attention. You can't have it all!
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