The Gender Question

I've been amazed at how much we've already been asked if we know what gender the baby is (not possible yet) and if we're going to find out. And how many people simply assume that we'll be finding out and want to be told as soon as we know. 

So I thought I'd give a bit of an explanation here as to why no one will be getting an answer to that question until the birth.

It's multifaceted.

For one, it's important to us (well, I guess I should only be speaking for myself here) to do our (um, my) best not to make our child feel like it's supposed to be one certain way because it's a boy or a girl. I want the child to feel like it can identify itself however it wants, regardless of whatever biological sex may be identified to it at birth. 

Now, I understand from friends with kids that they've been amazed at how many things their kids are naturally drawn to that are in line with the socialized gender roles/options, when they purposefully tried to expose them to other options. So I'm not saying that I would force a boy, for example, to play with traditionally girl-identified things like dolls when he's clearly drawn to trucks. 

I'm just saying that I think we we put way too much emphasis on gender in this society. Maybe down the line our child will want to tell us that s/he is transgender, and I want him/her to feel okay with that and just in general not feel like it's supposed to be one certain way, or a set of certain ways. While that socialization obviously primarily comes after birth, I like setting the precedent for that while in the formation stages in the uterus. I'm already sending messages.

Plus, at the superficial level, there's the whole thing of all the baby blue and pink that you get on everything when you know the gender. What about the spectrum of colors? I don't even like pastel! I like primary colors! Give me some green and purple over light blue and light pink any day!

And, though I'm so appreciative of all that technology offers us in terms of increasing the safety of deliveries and maternal/baby health, I also think there are some things that should just be left to nature, and I like the idea of a child coming out and Mo being there to help to catch it, saying excitedly, 'It's a boy!' or 'It's a girl!' 

So, there's your long-winded answer to say that no, we will not be finding out the gender. I find gender to be a fascinating thing to discuss, so please feel free to ask questions!