The Final Countdown (please insert music)

We're only two weeks away from the due date! Aahh!! How did that happen?!


We got the good news yesterday that Blueberry is head-down! Yay! So that's one less thing to worry about.


Yesterday, we took a newborn care class that helped us to feel more prepared. It's kind of ridiculous how this whole system is set up -- we spent 21 hours in childbirth preparation classes, getting ready for the birth process, and 4.5 learning how to care for the child. Slightly out of whack. But I guess we'll figure out the childcare stuff as we go along.


We have an overflowing box of books on pregnancy and childbirth as well that are awaiting another pregnant person to pass along to (hint, hint, anyone). And only a couple on caring for and raising children. Guess I'll head to the library this week to scope out those we might want to get more permanently.

Mo has decided that in order to prepare, he should get used to carrying a 'baby' around. Luckily, Mom sent us some of my old stuff, which included my Cabbage Patch doll (I happened to get the 'Preemie' version, so it's more infant-sized, though not as heavy as a real one, obviously). On Friday morning, Mo came out carrying the 'baby' around as he went about his morning preparations, carefully setting it down in the car seat as he ate his breakfast. It was pretty comical -- and adorable.


He also insisted on actually strapping it fully into the car seat and putting the car seat in the car as we went about our day, first to our prenatal appointment. I dared him to bring it into the appointment with him, for which he mocked me because he cares little enough about what others think of him to actually do it, and he knows that I know that. Which is why I dared him, because I figured he would.


But instead, he dropped me off, went to park the car, and came in without the 'baby'. I told him he killed it by leaving it in the car, but he says it's my fault for not keeping it nutritionally fulfilled during that time. In any case, he apparently got comments all day for driving around with a (dead) doll in a car seat all day. That nut.


When we got home that night and watched some TV (we're currently making our way through the DVDs of the 'Mad Men' seasons), he insisted on cuddling the baby as we watched, occasionally shoving it onto my breast for feeding. And, of course, when he declared it was pooping, he sat it on me so it could poop on me.


We'll learn as we go ...


Tomorrow's my last day of work (!), so after that I'll be in full-on prep-the-room and finish-to-do-list mode.


I'm hoping that Blueberry gives us at least another week, and not too much more than that, because Mom is coming the day after the due date, and we need to take advantage of her being here for help post-baby!


(As I write this, Mo just picked up the 'baby' from the swing we just got from our friend Annika yesterday, said 'good morning' to it and started carrying it around, though it went pretty much immediately back into the swing as he realized it was going to hinder his breakfast-making. Poor guy is realizing how much of an adjustment this is going to be. For those who don't know, he does NOT adjust well to change. Even my drastic haircut yesterday has thrown him off -- I wasn't thinking about the fact that it would be yet another thing for him to have to get used to -- oops!)

The Story of Stuff

 Our closet-o-baby stuff (and Pakistani outfits) -- a work in progress

This whole baby thing is an interesting test to ones values. Mo and I really don't believe in bringing extra unnecessary crap into the world. There's just so much stuff that's created to make us believe that we need it, even though we've probably been living for a long time just fine without it -- and in fact probably living more creatively because we had to figure out how to come up with solutions for whatever the latest product is claiming to do -- some supposed 'gap' in our lives. And if we do need it, why not get it second-hand, when, especially with baby stuff, it's going to have such a short usefulness span??


When I went to Target for my friend Julie's shower last October or so, it was my first true venture into baby aisles, knowing that I was going to be facing this as part of my own existence, and it was so overwhelming!! What IS all this stuff?! And why are there so many choices??


Let's take for example just a thing to carry a baby around in. Meriah gave me two slings before I ever even got pregnant. Then Anne gave me an extra Baby Bjorn that she had. But lots of people say you 'have' to have a Moby because it's great for having the baby right next to you and carrying them around while you're doing stuff around the house. And that really, the Ergo is better than the Baby Bjorn. They all have their own purposes, so YOU HAVE TO HAVE THEM ALL!!!! What?! (And yet, here I am, with the Moby on our registry, and looking at used Ergo's -- though we have decided to ask Meriah to TRY her Ergo before we launch out and get one, even if used!)


Who can keep up?! And that's just baby carriers!! It's insane!


Yesterday, we went to a whole class on cloth diapering (which, by the way, was SO incredibly helpful -- best $10 we ever spent -- at Tot Tank, in Alameda, for those who are interested). Part of why I wanted to go is because I was so overwhelmed by the different diaper covers. COVERS!! Who knew it could be so confusing to choose a cover to go over your diapers?! It's madness!! Mission accomplished, though, because it became abundantly obvious which one to get (the Flip, in case you care -- though with traditional cloth diapers, not their inserts), so we got some -- phew! And they're ones that adjust to the size of the baby, so we only need a few and don't have to purchase new sizes each second when the baby grows. Now THAT's innovation and new product introduction I can get behind -- one that encourages less consumption!!


Needless to say, we're working on keeping things reigned in -- utilizing some of the new-fangled thingies that have been created, because, after all, they were created for a reason. But not succumbing to every little thingie -- which can be very tempting.

Because we're insane, we're pretending that this can be a baby room/guest room/study ... not looking so likely, is it?!

And since we've so generously been gifted with so many hand-me-downs (yay! reuse! pass things along!), we have enough overwhelm just trying to figure out what THOSE things do, forget bringing more gadgets into the house to have to master!

Gratitude

Really, I'm fully aware of the fact that I've been having an unusually smooth, even easy, pregnancy. However, it came into full effect today at yoga when a new classmate said that, in addition to finding out that her placenta is blocking her cervix, she HAD AN APPENDECTOMY WHILE PREGNANT!! What?! Can you imagine?! Having a piece of your body removed WHILE pregnant?! Totally unfathomable.


So, although I already knew it, it was a good reminder that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Not that I have been. At least, not about body issues. I've done plenty of complaining about work (though in the last week, I've suddenly been motivated and inspired to work again, now that the Big Bad Boss is totally out and we have a fabulous new boss -- such is life and timing...but I digress). But I've kept my mouth shut about body stuff, cuz there's really been nothing to complain about.


However, I am in a bit of shock that, when I go to yoga, I'm now included in the people at the end of the practice to whom the instructor sends light and love because they're so close to labor. How did I end up on that list?!


Because I'm at 37 weeks, that's how! Which means I'm full term! Whoa!! Totally unfathomable. 


We had a party last night, and one of our friends who had her 3.5 year-old boy there told Mo, 'He was here by this point!' Mo didn't like that too much -- a bit too much of an injection of reality for him at this point.


It's not that we have a MILLION things to do and that any of the things still on the to-do list are totally necessary, but it would be nice to have at least a few more of the things on the list done. 


But I guess that's what we'll do tomorrow as we celebrate dead presidents. Chug our way through the baby to-do list.


And be grateful that I am still plugging around as if nothing has phased me. Okay, well, admittedly I did get a bit pooped after all the house preparations for the party last night, but that was after a day of being on my feet and active movement. And it took me all day to get tired. So, let's say virtually as if nothing has phased me. 


And be grateful that I even just get to experience this process. As my sister-in-law, who's a month behind me, said on my Facebook today: I feel truly amazed at how amazing being a woman is, as the baby grows!


You said it, sister.

Showered with Love

I got so distracted by my blown-up ankles (and the ongoing drama that is my current work situation...*sigh*) that I didn't yet write about my shower last weekend!


Last Sunday, I had a shower hosted by Meriah & Anne, my mother-fairy-godmothers (i.e. the friends who have been-there/done-that and have been offering endless support and advice all along --not that others of you haven't as well, but I was looped in through their pregnancies more closely than others so have been learning since before I was even ready to be pregnant, much less was pregnant!). It was a bit of a debate whether to do it as a shower for Mo & me or just me. I've always thought it was a bit of a strange tradition that we do showers just for the mom, since partners are transitioning to a new phase too. (Just ask Mo, who doesn't deal well with change and is now FREAKING OUT with the imminence of the huge change to come, now that we're a month out.)


But I also really appreciated Jessica's mother blessing and the all-women space it created, since it IS different for the mom than it is for the partner. And since Mo's work is having a shower for us too, we decided to go with the all-women shower. (Which turned out to be a good thing since we unknowingly scheduled the shower during the Superbowl, and this year Mo cared about the Pack since he went to Cal when Aaron Rodgers did...)


So, last Sunday (on the record-shatteringly hot day) we gathered in the community room of Anne's building for the shower, and my community of women came. It's always nice to have them all in one room, though also a bit nerve-wracking, worrying about if people are enjoying themselves. 

They only subjected us to one game, thank goodness. But it was a fun one! Even though I failed, miserably. We were tasked with diapering a stuffed cow -- whoever did it fastest won. I was so focused on doing it quickly that I failed to get the diaper to cover the butt. Minor detail. Who says that's important?! Alas, a non-mother managed to edge out the expert diaper-changing mothers in the room, so that was sweet victory! Go, Natasha!!


Then we copied Jessica's mother blessing, and I was blessed with well-wishes from everyone in the form of a necklace made of a variety of beads from each woman that I get to wear during labor. It was very beautiful to receive all that support, and I'll wear the necklace with pride at the delivery.


Of course, then came the awkward part about gifts, which always feels strange to me, since the shower is sort of a begging for stuff. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think it's an important community ritual, because you DO need a lot of stuff, and if everyone chips in one thing, it makes it more manageable. But still. It's awkward. And I want to show off the homemade things my mom made for us! We're so blessed, as we now already have a stack of homemade blankets, all with special meaning for Blueberry to be able to pass on: one quilted by Grandma, one knitted by Aunt Liz (Mo's brother's wife), one sewn by Auntie CC (my good friend -- and our doula!), and one sewn by Grandma's aunt for when Grandma was born (!). I like having stories behind the 'stuff' that can be passed along. In fact, CC had the great idea of taking pictures of everything and making an album of it all, describing the history of everything that's been passed along to us, as part of Blueberry's story. Just another project for the list ... :)

 

Thanks, Meriah, for the photos!!

Body Catch-Up

Let me just be clear that I am not about to complain. Because, really, I've had it easy. Here I am, 4.5 weeks prior to my due date, and I'm just now starting to have some of the body wackiness. 


But still.


I looked down on Monday at work and freaked out. 'What happened to my ankles and feet and what are THESE things at the end of my legs?!?!' Whoa! They were HUGE! Mind you, it had been quite warm here that day and especially the day prior (sorry, Midwestern family and friends). And I really hadn't properly hydrated on Sunday. And I've known it was coming. But my gosh -- what WAS that?!


Needless to say, I'm working much harder to get those feetsies UP these days. Which then becomes difficult when I'm also supposed to now be concentrating on sitting forward more so as to help Blueberry get well positioned to not give me a painful back birth. The two do not combine well, so I feel like I'm constantly going back and forth between sitting forward and then getting the feet up.


Luckily, the feet/ankles did get back to normal. *Whew* But they seem to be more puffed up by the end of the day.


Especially with my walking on my commute -- 15 minutes in the morning and at night to get between work and drop-off/pick-up points. Though it's starting to take me longer, because though I don't feel slowed down in general, after about 5-10 minutes of walking briskly, I'm starting to get this tight feeling in the side of my lower legs. I don't even know what muscle that is -- it's not the shin, it's not the calf. I think it's the tendon that comes up from the Achilles' heel?? I don't know. In any case, it doesn't like my brisk walking. So I guess I have to slow down. *sigh*


But like I said, I'm NOT complaining. It could be much worse than this. And it could have been worse than this earlier! So I'll take what I have and be thankful. 


But I still think I get to at least whine a little ... :)

What's *Supposed* To Be

Here we are, with five weeks (give or take) to go. It's so crazy!! How'd we get to this point?!


In the beginning, it felt like it was really dragging out ... like I was waiting for each milestone. And begging my belly to appear.


Well, it still took a while to appear, but here we are, almost at the end suddenly. Ever since we hit 20 weeks or so, it's been a whirlwind. Which I suppose has something to do with the fact that our life has been a whirlwind since the beginning of November. It's really only now that it's starting to feel less so.


So it's funny to me now, when we're feeling so close to the end, that everyone I tell that I'm 35 weeks pregnant is totally shocked at how 'small' I am, still. And how I still get this 'how dare you call me small' reaction, when of course I've spent a good deal of my life *wishing* someone would call me small! Ah, life's cruel ironies. The blessing of having a body that spreads weight out evenly feels like a curse somehow in pregnancy. (Okay, maybe not a curse -- maybe just an inconvenience -- or a robbing of something owed to me -- or something like that.) 


Because then what happens is that while I hear all these other people complaining about how people come up and randomly touch their bellies in pregnancy, I, who kind of likes attention, feel jealous -- or like there's something wrong with me -- because no one randomly approaches me about being pregnant. It's like they still think I'm just fat or something.


Of course, the plus side is that I've had a pretty smooth, dare I say easy, pregnancy so far. Never got sick. Haven't really gotten sore yet. I mean, yes, if I stay on one side too long at night in bed, my hip starts to ache, but I just flip to the other side and I'm fine. I don't have this massive nest of pillows I hear others talking about. I do have some troubles sleeping, but nothing major, and really it seems to be more work drama related. No sore back. A little bit of swollen hands, but not my feet (yet). So then I start to feel guilty, like I shouldn't be telling people this, because I'm supposed to be complaining now about how achy I am and how difficult this is.


But it's not. For me.


And then it goes into thinking that it means that the last month is going to suddenly kick my a**. Or that it means that the labor is going to be excruciating. Or that Blueberry isn't going to breastfeed. Or something more dooms-day-oriented.


But I don't really believe that. I don't have the fears that 'my body can't do this'. Because women for thousands of years have given birth! So why would I suddenly be the one who couldn't?! Especially with this strong Scandinavian body??


So then I just figure, well, count your blessings, Missie, because this is one area where you've got it easy. Be grateful and enjoy it. Even if it means that you don't have the most obvious belly and get all the pregnancy attention. You can't have it all!

You get what you pay for ...

Because, yes, we're crazy, we're taking two childbirth classes. We thought it would be smart to take the Kaiser one in addition to the Zen one so that we can get more of a sense of what to expect at Kaiser, since that's where we'll be birthing. (I may have explained this already; apologies if I did.)

Well, since the Kaiser class is part of our membership, we get it for a pretty low price -- about 20% of what we paid for the Zen class.

And thus continues life's lesson in 'you get what you pay for'.

We started the Kaiser class last night, and the teacher, who is also a doula, is totally wacky. I can't imagine having her as a doula, coaching me through the birthing process!

First of all, her point of reference for everything is herself. While of course this is true for all of us, you'd think that, as one who is a very experienced teacher (well, let's rephrase -- has taught for many years in many locations -- she listed her experience to us), she'd have learned by now that not everyone's experience is the same. Well, okay, to her credit, she DID keep saying that everyone's birth will be different and that she can't predict how long we'll be in labor, etc. 

However, she basically started the class once the first couple, who were 20 & 21, introduced themselves, by saying that we would lose all of our friends who don't have kids because our lives will change so much and none of them will be friends with us any more.

How's that for a sweeping statement?! Of course, she talked about how she made all these parent friends when she had kids and the others went away. Therefore, same will be true for us.

She was one of the most disorganized instructors I've ever come across. I had no idea what we were discussing, and she didn't explain what the point of different things was.

For example, she asked if anyone is having back pain. Of course, Mo rose his hand -- because he always has back pain. No one else saw the mom next to him raise her hand too, so when the teacher told us to all get down on our hands and knees, everyone else thought we were doing it for the benefit of Mo's back and couldn't figure out why she was leading us through this exercise. She proceeded to teach us Cat/Cow and told us not to arch our backs (which I've never been told in any of my prenatal yoga classes) and finally about halfway through explained that this is a good exercise for getting our babies into the proper position so as to lessen the probability of back labor.

But by that point she'd already lost half the people in the class, who had written her off as nuts.

I wish I'd written some of her other gems down, as we were laughing for a good portion of the class. But then she showed a video that explained the entire process of labor/birth that was actually quite helpful -- especially for Mo, who's been confused about the cervix, dilation, perineum, etc. and how it all fits together since we've gotten a lot of it in bits and pieces.

So I guess we'll go back next week ...