A quick moment for the absurd...
There are small things in parenting that you had never thought about that you would have to do. Cutting fingernails and toenails is one of them. It's hard to do something on someone else that you're so accustomed to doing on yourself! There's something about the angle that makes me feel like I'm writing with my left hand or driving on the left side of the street (like when you parallel park on the left side of the street on a one-way street) ... you get my drift. It's just awkward.
So, add to the odd angle the fact that the baby doesn't know what you're doing and doesn't appreciate having their toes and fingers sequestered, so is working very hard to extricate them from your grip.
Then, add the fact that there is a Fingernail Monster living in each and every finger and toe. Yes, it's true!! The Fingernail Monster sits, lurking, waiting for you to cut the fingernails, and then, within moments, gives a little shove so that they're out there, all nice and long -- and sharp and pointy, because it's impossible to cut them cleanly with all the above-mentioned factors at play -- ready to be cut again, immediately!!
Seriously. It's true. See?? It exists!!
I feel like I'm cutting his fingernails EVERY DAY. I get done, and then a few hours later, I'm feeling his daggers cutting into my arm, lip, cheek, scratching away.
Maybe I just need to stop taking my vitamins??!!
(Haha!! Because you never know what you're going to find in the world of the internet, when I Googled 'fingernail monster', hoping to find some fabulous image (which, of course, I did, because it's the internet!), and look what I found: http://www.michaeltenn.com/2010/05/17/fingernail-monster/! Another parent blogging about the Fingernail Monster, except that they refer to themselves as the Fingernail Monster ... I guess I better write him and set him straight! The Fingernail Monster is not out cutting nails and spreading love -- He is thwarting efforts at cutting them and thus spreading frustration!!!! This guy has it ALL WRONG!!)
There are small things in parenting that you had never thought about that you would have to do. Cutting fingernails and toenails is one of them. It's hard to do something on someone else that you're so accustomed to doing on yourself! There's something about the angle that makes me feel like I'm writing with my left hand or driving on the left side of the street (like when you parallel park on the left side of the street on a one-way street) ... you get my drift. It's just awkward.
So, add to the odd angle the fact that the baby doesn't know what you're doing and doesn't appreciate having their toes and fingers sequestered, so is working very hard to extricate them from your grip.
Then, add the fact that there is a Fingernail Monster living in each and every finger and toe. Yes, it's true!! The Fingernail Monster sits, lurking, waiting for you to cut the fingernails, and then, within moments, gives a little shove so that they're out there, all nice and long -- and sharp and pointy, because it's impossible to cut them cleanly with all the above-mentioned factors at play -- ready to be cut again, immediately!!
Seriously. It's true. See?? It exists!!
I feel like I'm cutting his fingernails EVERY DAY. I get done, and then a few hours later, I'm feeling his daggers cutting into my arm, lip, cheek, scratching away.
Maybe I just need to stop taking my vitamins??!!
(Haha!! Because you never know what you're going to find in the world of the internet, when I Googled 'fingernail monster', hoping to find some fabulous image (which, of course, I did, because it's the internet!), and look what I found: http://www.michaeltenn.com/2010/05/17/fingernail-monster/! Another parent blogging about the Fingernail Monster, except that they refer to themselves as the Fingernail Monster ... I guess I better write him and set him straight! The Fingernail Monster is not out cutting nails and spreading love -- He is thwarting efforts at cutting them and thus spreading frustration!!!! This guy has it ALL WRONG!!)
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